Reasons To Call In Sick To Work During March Madness

[Qbins Missile Crisis]

NCAA March Madness: Top 5 Reasons To Call In Sick To Work
March 20, 2008

Tell your boss you drank some bad OJ last night. Or ate some bad Mayo. Whatever. (AP Images)

Let's face facts - you don't really want to go to work for the next two days. Following the NCAA Tournament on your computer while your buddies (who, rightfully, skipped work or school or parole) text message you about how much fun they're having really and truly sucks.

You need to be sick this week. And we're here to help.

Without further ado…

No. 5 - "I've got this cold that's been going around." You know why it's believable? Because everybody else is calling in with a fake cold too. While it might not be real, it's certainly going around. Don't forget to sniffle a bit and break up your sentences with a dry, hacking cough. Bosses love that shit.

No. 4 - "My bursitis is acting up." Bursitis is the inflammation of one or more bursae, or small sacs of synovial fluid, in the body. It's not very serious and you can recover from it by the Sweet 16. It also has an odd-sounding name that'll throw off most employers from asking too many questions about it. Tell your boss that it hurts just to pick up the telephone. Guilt is always nice to have in your back pocket in case he searches WebMD.

No. 3 - "I went to (insert obscure school here)." Amazingly, several employers understand the bond between the individual and their alma mater. Some will let you skate for a while to check out your school play. NB: You're better off lying about what school you went to, as opposed to trying to lie about your actual alma mater being in the NCAA Tournament. Because nobody will believe that the Wyoming Institute of Design is in the throws of March Madness.

No. 2 - "My car broke down." This will at least get you through the morning games, after which you can re-call and ask if it's even worth trying to make it in for the afternoon.

No. 1 - "I've got a fever, and the only perscription is more basketball." You'll be fired after saying this, allowing you to watch all the March Madness you please.

Enjoy the tournament, everybody.

-- Bodog Beat