Thankful Football Matchups – Thanksgiving Preview
There’s no better way to celebrate the United States’ absolute hatred of turkeys than by slaughtering and munching on them by the billions! While the family conversation bores you to death, why don’t you stuff your face full of some gravy and potatoes while three Superbowl candidates beat up on three of the worst teams in the league?
Hey, it’s better than having to listen to your drunken Uncle Larry talk about how cool it is to be single after the age of forty. Ok, well that actually depends on how drunk Uncle Larry is but you get my drift. On to the picks!
Tennessee Titans -11 over DETROIT LIONS
The Titans got off to an amazing start, going 9-0-1 ATS this season and profiting their sports betting backers and giving the fans in Knoxville something to justifiably get drunk about. After a stunningly lopsided loss, the Titans need to retool. The Jets exposed their inability to cover the edges of the line by running Leon Washington and Thomas Jones wide, and dumping short screens which Tennessee was unable to stop. Is this a huge weakness? No. The Titans just had one of those games that they couldn’t win. Anyone who’s hitting the panic button should smash their head in to their desk repeatedly until they blackout so that they don’t progress in to further stupidity.
But thank goodness they’re playing the freaking Lions! Daunte Culpepper looked like he was going to claw his way to victory as they played the Bucs…until he reverted back in to being Daunte Culpepper. Daunte gave up two haunting interceptions to a ball-hawking Tampa secondary, and is going to get chewed up by the Titans. The Lions were a shaky bet to begin with, going 4-7 ATS on the season and also hasn’t covered the spread at home this season.
I mean seriously, do I have to go on and on about how great the Titans are and how bad the Lions are? I will say this – Did Daunte seriously think that coming out of retirement to play for the freaking Lions would be the best bet for his career? “I know how to show those haters that I’m the real deal! I don’t need Randy or Carter! And besides, I can probably blame the whole Oakland debacle on Al Davis.” And then he comes out of retirement and is blatantly screaming at the New England Patriots to sign him so he can play with Moss, only the Patriots don’t even look at him so he’s forced to start dating the ugliest girl in the room. Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR DETROIT LIONS!
TERRELL OWENS WHINING -13 over Seattle Suckfest
Can things get any worse in Seattle? They’re still not over the loss of the Sonics, the rainy season is about to start, Apple is stomping Microsoft in to the ground and their Seahawks are on a four-game losing streak that was recently capped by a heartbreaking loss to the overrated Redskins. Seattle is 2-5 ATS in their last 7 games…and that’s dating back to when they were actually good. On top of that, they’re 1-7 SU when playing on the road so far. And Mike Holmgren is too busy game planning his retirement after this season to even give two licks about the NFL season.
The problem is that Dallas hasn’t been a strong bet at home in a while, going 2-5 ATS at home in their last 7 games in their own building. So why am I encouraging you to take Dallas with double-digits on a short week? Because Seattle is just that bad. They allow 259.2 yards against the pass and Tony Romo has found his groove.
The other problem? With T.O. bitching about the offense, it’s only going to encourage malcontent Roy E. Williams to start chirping away. Gotta love those Cowboys. I can’t wait until Jerry Jones enters his “Al Davis” phase.
Arizona Cardinals over THE IMPEDING IMPLOSION IN PHILADLEPHIA
What’s worse than me mentioning Al Davis three times when Oakland isn’t even playing on Thanksgiving? And Reid with a headset and two challenge flags. Zing! The Eagles entered the dark phase of their season when Reid benched McNabb during their 7-36 loss to the Baltimore Ravens. The Kevin Kolb came in and threw two picks and went 10-for-23 with a 3.2 yards-per-pass average. If Kolb is supposed to be the savior in Philadelphia, then no wonder their fans are so depressed.
The Cardinals got decimated by a very strong New York Giants team, but their offense showed the same fluidity that has made Kurt Warner the leading MVP candidate. The Red Birds are 5-2 ATS in their last 7 games and though they might be 1-3-1 ATS in their last 5 visits to Philadelphia, this is certainly a game that they can win. The spread isn’t up yet due to the fact that Philadelphia can’t figure out whether to start McNabb again or Kolb. With some frigid temperatures affecting a usually strong Arizona team, don’t take this line if it’s anywhere above a touchdown. If it’s below that, then take the Cardinals. Happy Thanksgiving!
